Funny Game Of Thrones Quotes

Game of Thrones was a very highly grossing and appreciated Television Show for quite a while, it took its viewers on a wild ride of emotions with the immense suspense and unexpected deaths. But in this wild ride of a show, there were quite a few lines and instances that made us laugh. And today we decided to compile some of them for the game of thrones fans. So, without further ado, let’s get right into some of the funniest things aid in this television show

Where do I begin my lords and ladies, I am a vile man, I confess it, my crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled, and whored. I am not particularly good at violence but I am good at convincing others to do violence for me, you want specifics I suppose. When I was 7, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her clothes, she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I close my eyes, I can still see her Ti*s bouncing. When I was 10, i stuffed my uncle’s boot with goat shit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. The poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry into the trutle stew which I do believe that my sister ate, or at least I hope she did. I Once brought a Jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel” –Tyrion

How’d you like to die?, “In my own bed at the age of 80 with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my co*kTyrion Lannister

“You know nothing Jon Snow”- Ygritte

You’re the worst s***!” – The Mad King

Tears aren’t woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs.”Cersei

Samwell Tarley: Sir Allice is going to make me tomorrow as well isn’t he?, Jon Snow: Yes, Samwell Tarley: I am not going to get better at it you know, Jon Snow: Well, you can’t get any worse

Hodor“- Walder ( Hodor )

“I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things.”Tyrion Lannister

“It’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.” Tyrion Lannister

“I am the god of t*** and wine… I shall build a shrine to myself at the next brothel I visit.”Tyrion Lannister

“It’s not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it.”Tyrion Lannister

“It’s even better luck to suck a dwarf’s c***.“- Tyrion Lannister

“You can’t f*** your way out of everything.”

“Listen fat man. You are not taking my husband anywhere.”Catelyn Stark

We will kill them all.“- Catelyn Stark, ( okay, that was in bad taste, apologies )

“Do you lie awake at night fearing my gash?” ~Varys

What about you my lord, what’s the strangest thing you have eaten? Do Dornish girls count? Tyrion Lannister

“You won’t be a very good hand if you see the word ‘knight’ and say “Ka-niggit..” Shireen

I must be one of the few men in this city who doesn’t want to be king.” – Varys “You must be one if the few men in this city, who isn’t a man.” Littlefinger “Oh, you can do better than that.”  Varys

You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality – that, and your cheekbones.”  Tyrion Lannister

Yes, all Lannisters are lions. And when a Tyrell farts, it smells like a rose. But how kind is he? How clever? Has he a good heart, a gentle hand?” ~Olenna Tyrell

You’re a clever man. But you’re not half as clever as you think you are.” ~Cersei Lannister “Still makes me more clever than you.” ~Tyrion Lannister

“Grand Maester Pycelle made that same joke. You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.” ~Tyrion Lannister

“Cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats” Tyrion Lannister

Yes, i’ll release him in the morning, Cersie can keep him as her pet if she wants. But I will not have him in the council. I could swear that I had not harmed a single hair on his head. But that would not striclly speaking be trueTyrion Lannister

Do you know how to use that? I chopped a wood once, no i watched my brother chop woodTyrion Lannister

Why does everybody assumes I want something, Can’t I simply visit with my beloved father” Tyrion Lannister

She ought to offer her cu*t, the best part of her for the best part of meTyrion Lannister

Anyone dies with a clean sword, I’ll rape his fuc**g corpseThe Hound

Come on, bring me a drink… f**k the water, bring me wine” The Hound

Do I look like a man without money… Never trust looksTyrion Lannister

There has always been more then enough death in the world for my taste. I can do without it in my leisure timeTyrion Lannister

You don’t have to speak to me as a prisoner anymore. You won’t be a prisoner anymore, you will be my wife. I suppose that’s a different kind of prisomTyrion Lannister

The disgraced daughter and the demon monkey were perfect for each otherTyrion Lannister

Can i drink myself to death on the road to Meerene Tyrion Lannister

Does someone, somewhere keep your balls in a little box? I’ve often wondered.” ~Littlefinger “Do you know, I have no idea where they are… and we had been so close.” ~Varys

Try to penetrate the enigma that is meTyrion Lannister

Looks like your god likes me more than your butcher’s boyThe Hound

Impossible as it may seem, there was a time when i was unaccustomed to wineTyrion Lannister

My Father’s probably the most powerful man in the country, certainly rthe richest. he has tall 7 kingdoms in his pockets. Everyone, everywhere always has to do exactly what my father says. he has always been a cu*t” Tyrion Lannister

” The next time you are going to do something like that, tell me first” The Hound

More ravishing then every, Big sister, War agrees with youTyrion Lannister

“And yes, you will stand here and take it from me, unless you will like to take it from my friend here. I hope you enjoy the wall. I found it surprisingly beautiful in a brutal, horribly uncomfortable sort of way” Tyrion Lannister

Hopefully this article was a good read and reminded you of some of the fun moments of Game of thrones. If you want know some interesting facts about game of thrones mentalfloss has a great article written on it, so do give it a look if you are interested “70 Amazing Facts About Game of Thrones“. And if you are a Potterhead and want to go through the cast of Harry Potter, we have a great article on that too, here is the link if you are interested, “Cast Of Harry Potter: All Of Them

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